Appozhum parenjiley porandannu … (Told you not to go)

 

Mummy today 10 Standard student went out for 2 days trip – Why are we 5^th grade student not taken for picnics ? Would you let me go if any trip is planned from our school ?  Esther asked this few weeks back   As parents what all we have to think and do – I thought I need to give her some answer rather than saying we will think about it later , So I started …. 

‘Well for 10 grade student this is probably their last year in this school, many would go to different school for their +1, so they go for 2 days trip for a bonding and they will remember these 2 days throughout their life. Grade 5 students are the youngest in your school, and it will be difficult for teachers to take care of each and every student and also 1 day trip in and around Trivandrum , most of the students would have already gone to those places so there wont be much interest and the attendance for the picnic might be not great. So either way its too much of hassle for school authority, so grade 5 don’t have picnic. Now coming to the 3^rd part – when have we not allowed you to go for picnic ?  If we feel comfortable that you will be safe and there will be adults around to take care of children we have allowed you to go for picnic the last you went was for your Vacation Bible School picnic and parents were not allowed and for 4 days children camp/conference where again parents were not allowed’.  I think she understood what I wanted to say and was satisfied …

Scene 2 –

Watching mallu movie “Ustad Hotel" there comes a scene when after having a good time at a Musical show and dealing with a Eve teaser both Hero and the Heroin (Both from moderate Muslim families) run for their life laughing and when they are reach near heroin’s house she tells the Guy (hero)  - “today is my last day of freedom ; tomorrow I am getting engaged “ and then the Hero’s expression changes – disappointed – but smiles and says “Congratulations” – Seeing this Esther asks “Why is he disappointed’ Me – ‘Because she is getting married to someone else and not him’ … Hmmmm ‘But then why is she saying last day of freedom ? After marriage what happens to the freedom of girls ?’  … Ah I wish she had asked this question few years later and again instead of saying we will talk later I thought I will respond !! I smiled and said … ‘You see life changes a lot after marriage, most of the time girl has to do things or give priority to things which her husband or family wants , and many times she has to keep quite about  her interest or wishes – so you see the freedom to do what you want to do  anytime is not there for most of the girls after marriage – So sweetheart , study well, be smart, be independent , earn money, do things which you want, go around places and then if you think  you want to loose your freedom then only  think of Boyfriend/marriage :) ‘ She looked at me and gave a curious smile and I smiled back , knowing she is too young to understand everything now , but probably when ever she (will) see the movie again later anytime; she will remember this conversation  :)

Scene 3 –

I listening to remix version of an old mallu song  ‘Appozhum parenjiley porandannu’ song  and first time realizing the meaning of the song. Song is basically about the plight of a young beautiful girl from lower caste who gets kidnapped by upper caste male while she is on her way to the village temple to watch some temple fest – the title of the song means “I had told you then – not to go” the remix version really good . Esther hearing it from the other room  asked me to play it again ,…  she smiled when she heard  “thambrante ullilu idiminnalodi” and repeated “idiminnalodi” which literally means ‘Lighting and thunder’ ; for my luck she did not ask what the song means …  …  The song made me think - then and now , irrespective of the caste we still keep telling our daughters “don’t go, don’t do, don’t talk, don’t ride, don’t  play  ….”  The song ends “Venda Penne”  -- Venda = Don’t  : Penne = Girl …   … My chain of thoughts again broken by Esther ‘Mummy Don’t forget tomorrow we have Blood Donation camp for RCC at school you have to come ‘  ............