That spark between us ..

Few days back I had gone with Anil to see choir practice where our daughter is also practicing. After the practice, we were generally talking to people we know, and then Anil asked me if I could wait a little longer as he has to meet few more people. I said ok , and just casually mentioned, don’t get into any trouble during discussion . Hearing this, looking at both of us , one of the youth choir singer asked ‘yours was a love marriage?’ Anil and me we both looked at each other and said ‘yes- but why did you ask ?’  Before she could answer we were called for some discussion and we left that topic there. At night we got message from her saying that she felt that ours was love marriage and I quote ‘after all these years – there still is some spark when you talk to each other ‘  Reading this both of us  laughed and I replied to her ‘if you had spent some more time watching us you might have seen the lightning also ‘ 😉

Ah ! what would life be without all those sparks and lightning ! 😜

Gift for someone you love ….

‘Its Isabell’s b’day this sunday, please do come as we are celebrating her B’day’  called up Hannah few weeks back  Both Esther and Ezekiel were excited to hear that and Ezekiel said –‘will we song happy bday to you?’ Esther asked –‘ what gift will we give?’

Hmmm ‘gift’ has always been the exciting part in any b’day party !  for me it also happens to be a ‘real confusing time’ to think and decide what to give … Probably I think a lot ,trying to select something meaningful and useful gift ….. and finding/deciding  a gift is difficult for me …especially for children  …  

Practically Romantic days ...

Papa ji I want to hear ‘pepper peper pe pa ,pe paaaa, pepper pepper pe paa pee  pepper pepper pe paa pe paa pepper peppera pe pa paa pe …. Dindra dindra dish, dindra dindra dish’ – comes Ezekiel marching asking Anil to switch on Vividh bharti at 7 pm to listen to the Jailmala’s signature tune. Soon the Radio is switched on the program begins with Ezekiel marching to the the drum beats …

Namashkaar , aap sab ka Jaimala program mein swagat hai – aaj key karyakram ki pheli pharmaish – Amitabh Bachchan or Lata mageshkar ki awaaz mein Silsila ka geet …as the presenter continues speaking , from kitchen I say ‘Mein aur meri tanhayee aksar ye baatein kartey hai ..’ and soon the song starts, and when the words are clear, surprised that I could guess the song just by the name of the singers and movie – Anil says ‘Wah kya baat hai’ and I laughingly tell him, anybody from our generation can guess this song – an evergreen  song. I think this is one of the most romantic songs which has been my all time favorite - the wordings are beautiful, very meaningful and of course romantic and beautifully sung :)  But when I consciously sang the song I realized it is too romantic and too good to be true :D I was reminded of another scene from a movie I don’t remember well (but I guess it must have been Kabhi Kabhi which I have seen only in bits and pieces) its husband wife light hearted conversation where the wife Rakhi is asking her Husband Shashi  what does he think about her. He not being very romantic and poetic tries to explain that ‘when he looks at her eyes , he sees twinkle of a lantern/lamp coming from a hut far away’ and they both laugh. Think about it guess most of the (not so poetic)husband would have similar answers :)

Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain
Tum hoti to kaisa hota, tum yeh kehti, tum voh kehti
Tum is baat pe hairaan hoti, tum us baat pe kitni hansti
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to vaisa hota
Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain

Probably if I am away from home my husband would say

Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain

Tum hoti to hulchal hota, tum yeh bolti, tum voh karti

Tum is baat pe gussa hoti, tum us baat pe kitni cheekhati

Tum hoti to breakfast mein yeh hota, tum hoti to lunch voh hota

Yeh raat hai, bachoon ki cheekho se ghuli hui hai
Hai chaandni ya sabhi kamroon ki tubelight jali hui hai
Yeh chaand hai ya gate mein Jalta dome

Sitaarein hai ya tumhaari Saree terrace pe sookh raha hai
Hawa ka jhonka hai ya kuch kitchen se jalne ki badboo
Yeh pattiyon ki hai sarsaraahat ke bachon ki koi nayi shararatt hai
Yeh sochta hoon main kab se gumsum pareshaan
Ke jab ki mujhko bhi yeh khabar hai
Ke tum nahin ho, kahin nahin ho
Magar yeh dil chahata hai
Ke tum yahin ho, yahin kahin ho and I can go on and on :D

I always used to think that am not at all a ‘romantic' person,  its always all about being practical, there was and still has not much time for being romantic , and then once in a while you hear lovely songs and laugh at thinking its parody  :D Yeh kahan aa gaye hum,  …… and Ezekiel comes marching to the closing tune of the the Program pepper peper pe pa ,pe paaaa, pepper pepper pe paa pee  pepper pepper pe paa pe paa pepper peppera pe pa paa pe …. Dindra dindra dish, dindra dindra dish .... Yeh kahan aa gaye hum, Yunhi saath saath chalet …… :) 

Tumko dekha toh ye khayal aaya …..

There are some actors who seem to be almost same in their real life as in their Reel life, the characters (or the values their characters depict) they play  … some such actors which I feel fall into this category are Deepthi Naval, Farooq Sheikh, Smitha Patil, Shabana, Naseeruddin, Supriya Pathak, Om Puri,  …  ..

‘Anil ji Farooq Sheikh is dead ‘ I exclaimed when I saw the news on DD on 27^th  Dec … ‘Arey nahi – kahan se mila ye news ? ‘  I knew the question was to check the authenticity of the  news , because many of us would have wanted the news to be some sort of prank …. but it was reality , Farooq Sheikh was no more …  Farooq sheikh, his smile, his language, his simplicity , his humility, and the songs picturized on him (and sung by another great artist Jagjit)  we literally grew up listening to ….  will still remain part of our lives ….

Reconciliation …Reconnecting ...

Most of the Christians (non protestant) when they hear the word ‘Reconciliation’ the first thing which comes in their mind (I assume) is confessions  … and I believe not many (irrespective of any religion) feel comfortable at the thought of Confession … Last month attended few sessions during ‘MGOCSM global conference 2013’ Theme for the conference was Ministry through Reconciliation ….  I was not sure what to expect, happen to hear the inaugural speech and I knew I wont be able to sit through the sessions … So next day onwards I planned to attend only those sessions which Anil recommended ....... 

Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering - Roland Barthes

Sometimes I wonder , which is more painful – Loosing a dear one to death ? Or  loosing your dear ones to time/situation/decisions and being dead for them (or they being non existent for you)?  

Sometimes I Wonder which is more painful, going to a house which was once full of  love and loved ones, but now love is  missing though the house is still full of  same people …. or going to a house where you still feel the warmth of the love shared though the loved ones might not be there ………..  

Blessed are those who mourn, and so are those who mourn death of a relationship, for they realize importance of relationships they miss and also realize that life brings different opportunities and people  to share and care …..

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.” 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

fireflies ....

Took  different route for evening walk, was nice feeling walking through the paddy fields, some portion of it freshly ploughed ....  saw flock of parrots (must be around 50 or more parrots) in the fields feasting and I saw one parrot caged in a house near to the fields…. I took another by lane kept on walking till I hit main road after may be 1.5 kms , realizing that it had started getting dark, I turned around and decided to take same route back , the road was in bad shape and street lights were not on …. I started walking fast , though I know the route pretty well … then I saw crowd in front of a house, and a wailing of a women , realized that someone in that house died , but just 15-20 mins everything was absolutely normal …. And I thought ‘ that’s all -- end of  life’ … by then it was pretty dark and still there were no street lights … and then I saw a twinkle in the field, then randomly one more and then I saw lot more – fireflies … after so many years I was seeing so many ‘jugnoos’ reminding me of my childhood days , running behind and catching the jugnoos , those small pleasures of life …..and if not for the darkness and no street light , I would not have observed them ….. and then again I thought … life, sometimes just a firefly is enough to give you hope ….  

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and, stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth, turns, slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seem

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance ....

Tears in heaven ....

There are some days when you just sit ,initially thinking nothing specific ;I know,  for the hectic schedule we all have , I am sure most of us feel where is time to sit and think nothing … but still there are times when you just sit and do nothing much, probably while having a cup of morning tea, or while doing some casual reading , or while going through old albums, or reading old letters, or reading the notes on the cards, or just before going to bed  … and then you think of the years gone by ….. the people who came and went in your life, your parents, your siblings, your school friends, your  best friends, your crushes, your not so good friends/relatives, your first love, your first job, your current job, memorable moments in your life, and embarrassing moments in your life, and some moments you wished you could have changed  ….you think about people who meant so much to you one time, and years later you still are doing fine with or without those people around you, people who went out of your life giving or not giving any reason, someone you lost ...... And without you knowing – those pearls fall from your eyes  ….. tears in heaven …..

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

One cup Coffee ..

Went out to do some shopping leaving kids at home .. its rare that I get time alone to go out for shopping, so when I got some time thought of finishing the shopping as soon as possible, and it did not take me more than 45 mins and 2 shops to get the things … and then I wanted to have coffee – the weather today was pretty pleasant , rains before I started , slight warm sun shine when I went out , and cloudy by the time I finished my shopping … I thought of coffee, I saw Coffee House … and I called Anil, I knew he was busy at Press club, but just thought of taking a chance as the coffee house is near to Press Club –‘ Anilji busy ho kya ? Coffee peeney ka mann kiya toh socha aap se pooch loon  …’Arey, abhi nikalney ka koi chance nahi ‘ he replied , I smiled and said ‘I know, was taking a chance, anyway I am going to Coffee house and from there going back home …’

While having coffee , so many thoughts , memories flashed, the By 2 teas/coffees after work, the chaats and dosas at ‘Tapris’ the long scooter rides , the small short getaways …  :)

 Has somebody called you for Coffee these days ! ? :)  …….

101 Reasons Why I love you

Last few days have been very busy for me. Last 2-3 days I took time out to do cleaning up of old stuff,which we had a packed 1.5 years before shifting to our new home and that time we did not have time to sort ... and after Ezekiel i had absolutely no time and energy to sort out things , so finally after more than 1.5 years i took some time out .... while going through the things I found lot of books both Anil's and mine from our college time till recent , all the training materials , not just books but also got to see old cards, letters and posters... arranged all the books in different categories, 'English Literature, Maths, Engineering, Management, Spiritual, Psychology,Technical trainings, Communicative English training , Novels, Short stories and even Comics ... Wow I never knew we had such variety !! :)

Love -- Have fun. Fall in love

Love - It all begins at home for most of us , my mom was the more stricter one at home, and dad my first love , not because he got stuffs for me , but because he always made me feel special, I was and I guess I am still his “gudiya” :), he has been always so patient and calm (well there were times when I made him impatient and wild :)) , and he unknowingly taught me to believe that there is always

 hope if there is just a ounce of love involved what ever the situation is :) - met him for last Christmas , saw him sleeping with kids – Esther & Jude and I after putting Ezekiel to sleep, tired , like a kid slipped next to him kept my head on his chest listening to his “dub dub” and held his ear (something I used to do as a kid – to ensure he does not go away :)) ... He hugged me and both of us had eyes full of tears … he just said “Meri Gudiya” and I kissed him good night …. many arguments and heated discussions have happened in the years gone by, but that moment it was love for each other which just washed away all those differences .. but it did take me time to show that gesture of love … guess it was my ego which was coming in between ..