What would you do ?

 A few days back, while going back home from my evening stroll, I happened to see a differently-abled person strapped to his electric Tricycle in front of an ATM, just off the main road. There is a big step from the footpath to the ATM, and there is no Wheelchair accessto ATM machine. It was a Sunday, and around 6:30 pm, a busy road and footpath on weekdays, the footpath was almost empty, so I could see the person from a distance. When I reached near him, he called me and, without wasting a word, asked me, waving his ATM card, if  I could help him get money from the ATM and shared his PIN. 

I was taken by surprise, and I asked him, "You trust a stranger with your ATM card and password ?" And without taking a second, came his answer, "We are human being afterall" Then, the question "Can he be trusted?" had not come into my mind, but when I agreed to help him, suddenly I realised that I am the one who is in the risky situation. So I asked his name, checked the card, and confirmed the PIN again. 

Since I have never used that specific ATM, I told him it might take me some time. As I entered the enclosure, the first thing I tried was to keep the door open, so that he could see me, but I realised that, wearing a saree, it was not easy to keep a door open with my feet. Then it took me some time to figure out that it was a Swipe in and take out card, since I had left the card in the slot (thinking the card needs to be in the slot till completion of the transaction ) the system gave an error message, and it took some time for it reset again.

The next time I did it correctly, entered the amount and his PIN, got the message saying the transaction is happening, but then at the end of the transaction, I didnt get money, but a slip saying that the transaction could not happen. I opened the door, and he was all smiles, giving me a thumbs up. And I told him that the transaction was a failure! "But I got a message saying the amount has been withdrawn !"  I have had similar situations many times and have gone bonkers myself in such situations. But that day, I kept calm and told him the same, "Keep calm, and check your bank statement, there will be an entry for the credit also" 

He checked and confirmed that there were 2 entries, one for debit and another for credit. Then he said that he was not able to make a UPI payment and so had to have some cash on him.I asked him if he was aware of the area, he said he had some idea and he did some training from an institution close by and got a job with an MNC. Then I asked him if he knew any other ATM close by, he said he did not have much idea. So i told him there are 3, one is across the road, and 2 same side of the road, some 100 meters ahead, but everywhere he will have an access problem. No building has wheelchair access, and especialy ATM.

And then the fool I am asked him if he needs help ? He said , it will be a problem for me , but at the same time he doesn't know how to get some cash. I asked him where he lives. Turns out his place is around 5-6 kms from where we stood. Anyway i decided I will try one more ATM , the one which i have used a couple of times. On his Tricycle he reached there before I could, checked and realised I was right about the wheelchair access. But i was surprised that there were no lights, it was almost 6:45 pm by then. 

He again gave me his ATM card. I got the money, came out, asked him to count the cash, once all cross-checked, told him to send emails to all the 3 banks raising issues about wheelchair inaccessibility to the ATM, and walked my way back home. And I started analysing the situation, and realised that the whole situation could have been a very risky affair for me. I had the confidence that there is a camera above ATM machines, and all transactions can be verified through the statement and timestamp. However, what happens outside the ATM does not have a third-party witness. And that crucial point never occurred to me till I started thinking about the whole scenario while walking back home.

So after reaching home I narrated the whole event and asked my Husband for his opinion . Following were his advice 

1. Ignore the person and leave; that's the safest thing to do. You cannot trust anyone.

Knowing the kind of "romantic fool " I am, he then said 

2. If you must help, record the whole event, starting from withdrawing money and handing it over to the person as proof. The scenarios he gave 

a) What if the person said that you withdrew more than he asked you to?

>> I said, there are always transaction statements to confirm the amount withdrawn.

b) What if a person said that you handed him only a partial amount?

>> Now, that is a possible scenario, so I should have confirmed whether I am in CCTV surveillance area, if not, I should have recorded at least the handing over and confirmation of the amount from him.

Lesson Learnt!

But there are other things which bothered me.

1. It's so difficult to trust people these days. We have to think of the worst scenario before even thinking of helping someone in need.

2. We can never become a "Developed" country. We don't have decent basic infrastructure, let it be roads, bridges, housing, or safe drinking water; we cannot trust the system or technology all the time.

So what option do we have -- for me, the only option is to help each other, as they say ,"Take that leap of faith - faith in Humanity"  Like Hashir said (the guy I helped)  " We are all Humans afterall!"

Sibling Bonding -

I had just entered my teens when my brother left home for college in Punjab in 1991. And since then, we have hardly spent time together. The first 13 formative years were much like any middle-class family, under parental guidance and protection. Once he was out of the home, some of our good interactions were through letters, though not very frequent, but they were timely ones. I was still in secondary school when he left for college. It was only during his semester break that he would come home for 2-3 weeks in a year. I left home after completing my college graduation, and by that time, he was working. So, as a teenager or grown-up, we didn't have much interaction or bonding, and I used to think that's very normal in every family. Once you are grown up and have your own social circle and family, it can build up distance with your siblings, unless you make a real effort to be there for each other.

Between my children, the age gap is 7 years, and we knew that our son would be too young by the time our daughter moves out for college. He was not even in his teens when our daughter left home for studies. For the next three years, she came home for a maximum of one month during her semester break, and we would visit her place for 2-3 days. There was not much in common between them, and she would joke, saying that he was from a different generation. And that always made me think, how can they bridge this gap?

 Unexpectedly, last year, things didn't work out for her and she ended up taking a year break and spending time with us at home. Interactions between 2 of them improved. They started doing things together. When she started learning a new instrument (not Guitar), he (who has been playing the Guitar for 3 years now) helped her with reading basic musical notes and rhythms. In doubt, she would ask him how he would play the note and small, small things like that. Then we (my husband and I ) decided to go for a 4-day trip and told them to manage things at home and outside on their own. This included going out for dinner to a place of their choice (Dominos) and coming back on their own. 

And then a few months back, we (again, my husband and I) had to rush to attend an emergency situation, and we had to leave our children at home for almost a week. This time, we did not have time to plan anything or prepare our children. 6 nights and 5 days, they were on their own, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, shopping, booking Uber Auto, tracking, paying, going to school, and music classes. In the evenings, we would get updates on what happened and what was planned for the next day, especially the food part. Both of them were very understanding and supportive of our situation.

Some other things they did together were meeting up with school friends at a common place. So she has a school friend from Class 1, and her brother, who is a year older than my son, is a good friend, and his cousin was my son's classmate for a year, making it easy to have a common outing during Christmas time. The so-called "generational gap" between the siblings is still there, but now, there seems to be some common ground for both of them. Other things which I ask them to do - plan a 1-2 day trip (e.g., to their grandparents' place) spend a day checking out the place and food there. Go for a movie which both of them are interested in watching, going swimming or playing any other sport together (both of them play the same sports). Just like in the office, you need to have some team-building activities outside the working environment; in the same way, you need to do things together beyond your home premises to build up strong family bonds. to understand each other better, to learn how to behave and respect each other's choices and preferences, to be less judgmental about each other's way of doing things and accept each other's differences, trusting and ensuring you have each other's back.

Sibling bonds are among the longest-lasting relationships in life, characterized by emotional intensity, shared experiences, and the potential for lifelong support.

ArakavYuham - Dialouge of instruments

January 11, 2026, at Tagore Theatre witnessed the performance of the band  'ArakavYuham,'  a rhythm-instrument-fusion ensemble. The band ArakavYuham has a unique musical style that combines Kerala's distinct regional music and focuses on Kathakali Sangeetham, the branch of music integral to Kathakali, with Carnatic music. This includes Carnatic percussion instruments such as the Mridangam, Kanjira, Konnakkol, and Morsing, alongside traditional Kerala instruments like the Chenda, Thimila, Mizhavu, and Ilathalam, as well as foreign instruments like drums, the Cajon, Darbuka, and shakers. The musical innovations that blend these instruments in new ways are the band's hallmark. It is an artistic treat that combines the sounds of various instruments while preserving their essence, taking the audience into an immersive musical world. The band performed padams (verse) from various attakathas (Kathakali plays) for the show. While the raga remain the same  it was the rhythm that picked up momentum as the performance progressed , and what intense music it was! 

The band comprises around 10 young, brilliantly talented artists from Kalamandalam, the cultural emblem of Kerala. The musicians have been studying at Kalamandalam since Class VIII, when students are enrolled at the institution and have known each other for over a decade. 

The line-up: Adhithya Krishna (cajon and edakka), Adarsh AG (mridangamand darbuka), Shahul MR (thimila), Harikrishnan (mizhavu), Sainathan (chenda), Amegh K (guitar and drums), Jyothish MA (rainstick and shakers). Vocalists : Shyam Kishore K and Anagha.

Note: The name Arakavyuuham comes from the Sanskrit word, arakam, which means cacophony, and vyooham, meaning group. “Since we are mixing diverse sounds, people expect it to be a noisy affair. But we wanted to break that notion and went with the word, arakam,” Adarsh 

PC : Public Relation Department 

Life Lesson - Visit while they are alive

We (my husband and I) are at that stage of life, where most of our family friends and relatives are either old or have parents who are 80+  or not keeping well. So the number of courtesy visits has increased a lot in the last couple of years. Also, most of the time, the families we visit are my husband's side; I know them through my husband only. My husband is the active visitor, and I am the reserved one; Anil is the one who does all the talking, especially on Old Time Sake topics.

From my close friends and cousins who have older parents at home, I have heard a lot about how they are judged for the condition in which their parents are, especially if they are the daughter-in-law. Not many understand the strain and stress the family members go through to take care of the Elderly, and the visitors end up making insensitive comments about the appearance or the physical condition.

Some of the things I had started doing consciously during such courtesy visits  - 

Always compliment the Elder, saying "You look good", or "You look a bit weak, but overall healthy", or "It's so nice to see you".This was my way of acknowledging that they are being well taken care of.

Ask the caregiver/ family members how they are doing, and if they are taking/getting help with other chores. Just listen to anything they want to say without judging them.

Show and share old photos of the person you are visiting 

Get something which you know they like, it can be flowers, snacks or Suduku or books 

Ask them before you take a snap with them, and only if they are comfortable being photographed, take the photo. Also, if you plan to share the photo in any group, ask for their consent. Trust me when I say that a couple of people have told me how they felt betrayed when they were photographed (while they were undergoing treatment) by a visitor without their knowledge. The photo got circulated in Whatsapp group, and people started calling and inquiring about the condition. (Something they did not want to go through, it was sheer trauma for everyone in their family)

Always thank the family members for allowing you to visit and spend time, and appreciate their hospitality.

These would be my basic etiquette rules for visiting an Elder. Always remember to be kind and non-judgmental towards the family

And if you are planning to visit someone you never liked, and still feel the same about them, then my suggestion will be, avoid the visit. I would say visit the sick (of any age) and elderly people only if you genuinely want to, and not just for formality's sake. Many times, that visit might end up being the last meeting, so ensure you have good memories of it to last a lifetime.

2 visits, all smiles - and that was our last visit in Dec 2024 before Appachan (our friend's father) died after 1.5 months of our visit. Similar story for the 2nd pic, we visited Usha ji in Sep 2023, and just a couple of months after the visit, she had to start on treatments, and then we never saw her.

Achtung ! Planning to do Masters in Germany ?

In 2017, in my Daughter's school, a German language course was introduced as a hobby language. The Goethe Zentrum had partnered with some CBSE schools in Trivandrum and initiated a program, which was held after school, twice a week for 1.5 hours. We encourage our daughter to take up the course. Thanks to the very well-designed course, activity-based sessions, and very talented Teacher Raji Mam, my daughter loved the course and language. She started learning German in class 7 and continued it until class 11, when she cleared the B1 level, which was the maximum level to achieve in the "Jugendliche" category. By that time, we had started thinking about the possibilities of studying in German universities.

2025, she completed her Graduation from MCC Madras University with 83% (Chemistry, Biochemistry, Maths). She had shortlisted around 6-8 German Public universities for PG in Chemistry. She got all her documents in place APS certificate, Provisional certificates. IELTS scores,  Proper internships done in all 3 years of her graduation. A few universities she had to apply directly, and few through  Uni-assist. Through Uni-assist she got the first mail stating that she meets all the required parameters and is eligible to apply to courses of her choice at the Universities.

One of the universities she had applied to directly rejected her application, stating she does not have the required Credit points for MSc Chemistry. We thought, that's one of the highly in-demand Technical University so probably their credit cut-offs are high.  But the same thing happened with all the other Universities, 3 of them asked for the detailed Course structure of the Madras University BSc Chemistry course (Number of hours per paper, subtopics, list of all the Lab experiments done in 3 years) and very politely informed that for certain papers in the Madras University course, did not have the required credit points. 

While applying for the course, none of the Universities has given the details of what the minimum credit score/point required to apply.  Now, Madras University BSc Chemistry course's total credit score is 150 and one needs 140 credit points to attain a Degree. 4 out of 6 German Universities applied 150 Credit score, which is not enough to pursue MSc Chemistry. And nowhere could I find information on the minimum credit score required in these universities.

And then I asked one of the "Study Abroad " companies about the Credit score required. They took 24 hours to get back to me with the information. They said 180-210 score is required in Public Universities!

So folks, please check the Total credit scores of your course, check the minimum credit required to pursue the course of your choice and then apply . Please note that my daughter's experience through the process had been very good, even though she got rejections. All her doubts and concerns were promptly answered with details of what information University wanted. She was given enough heads-up to submit the documents they were asking for to check the course and credit structure. 

It was almost 4 years of planning, preparing and wanting to do PG in Germany that got crushed, but there is nothing much we can complain about, except for the point that universities can clearly mention about the credit points and course structure they are looking for on their course page.