Stressful week at work and Sharmaji



Working at home with sprained leg :)

 This week was pretty testing one for me at work – and there were times when I just wanted to quit in the sense “Haar maan ke quit karne ka” – when I felt why to take so much of tension , just accept that I am not good at what I am suppose to do , and look for a some other role – though very contrary to my nature of giving up – but looking at the time I was not spending with kids and Anil and looking at the job which I am suppose to do at work (which at this point of time I feel is not going to be much value add ) - and the guilt feeling of neglecting home and not giving my 100% at work ,that is loose loose situation , I wanted to accept that I am good for nothing – its then when Sharmaji and his friendly advice gave me some strength and a made me think about my approach again - found a new friend in “ Sharma ji”.

Let me be very frank – I was not too keen to get into the work which I am doing (rather suppose to do ) – but I did not have much options thanks to perceptions many people have about me and lack of good opportunities suitable for my profile – half heartedly I accepted – nature of work requires me to be in office after 6 pm till 8 – 8:30 pm .. but I was avoiding it … because it didn’t make much sense to meand it did not interest me much to put that extra effort to be comfortable at work .. work which I still feel is not my cup of tea … but the fact is I have done few such roles in last 5 years where I felt I was complete mismatch , struggled initially but at the end didn’t do all that bad job .. but the current assignment somehow I just didn’t want to do … I have worked for this client 10 years back for a short time and hated it then, and guess still have this block -- anyway as I said testing time for me :) I have been very independent and transparent about my work - but with the new assignment which is not any technical stuff , I feel like a fresher .. not sure of what I am actually suppose to do .. have to cross check each and every thing … lot of dependencies on people for information and lot of trackers – (I hate trackers ! ) and this block in mind “to do or not to do “ its in this situation Sharmaji came into picture , of the two mentors I have , he is one –

I met Sharmaji 2 months back – he is big, over weight I guess in mid 30s ,quite , no nonsense sort of person – thats what I thought when I had seen him first . his seat is in a corner, kind of cut off from the rest of the Bay and he usually is busy going through documents , and when he is not at his seat – he is usually seen reading newspaper at the reception area .. and I guess he is that category of people jinko paper chaat daalne ki aadat hai J or at the smoking area …He walks very slowly , (his weight) has got nice voice , not much expression (unlike me who will have 10 expressions in 10 seconds) does not talk much , does not look at people much , but some how I was comfortable with him , somebody to talk to in hindi . He is particular about font size, color , format – his job requires him to be particular and that has become part of his nature also … he is mentoring me in one area , which initially I thought was pretty simple but now I am realizing small small details which I need to be aware of , and my nature I hate details , I want things to simple and crispy -- I started making mistakes , silly mistakes and started getting questions also … I started getting frustrated - what the heck – am not suppose to do this job .. and all that defensive negative feelings .. that’s when Sharmaji came in .. He has amazing sense of humor, as I said man with little expression sometimes it becomes very difficult to make out his jokes :D , times I pull my hair while preparing tracker and updating stuff, he will crack practical joke and I will laugh like crazy, forgetting the work and feeling much better … have told him many times that if not for him and his jokes I could not have done what ever I was doing …

Working from Train - Updating project status :)

So yesterday when I was feeling down and discouraged end of the day just before leaving office at 7:30 pm I walked down with him --- his first advice – “Don’t worry” even though it silly stupid boring work , everybody makes mistake initial 2 months – so don’t worry – everybody before you also has made mistakes and have faced questions – so don’t feel bad Next advice – See if you get through this phase its going to be really easy in coming days – you don’t even have to come to office to do all this crap work you can do most of the things connected from home , the next thing which he said was - Simmi you do too much of multi taking , at a time focus on one, if somebody asks you for something else during that time ask the person to wait , focus on tracker andwhen you are working on that you will not make mistakes … he was actually right … I was doing too much of multi tasking … he observed that …. Next he tells me that when he heard I was joining the team he did some opinion poll – he found that people who are mallu’s didn’t have any opinion about me, but non mallu thought I was a Bengali and they had good opinion about me and my work -- (such a feel good factor for me at that moment) so he feels pretty sure that I can do a good job and that I should not work out too much .. I had told me about late night call – his last advice for the day was – attend the call simmi – its not just for you, listen to what concerns and issues Management has , its for all the leads -- so don’t bunk it – Sab theek ho jayega , abhi se quit ka matt socho … I definitely was encourage’d – told him “Thank you Dosth” – it did feel better talking to him . I attended the 11 pm call , as he had said all leads were there ,and if I had not attended the call I would not have looked good , I heard what managers had to say about the team and work , towards the end I also spoke , accepted I need to speed up my learning curve and did feel better end of the call – though it took me time to sleep , but when I slept I had a peaceful sleep …. And morning when I got up I thanked God for Sharmaji :)