When in Rome ...

At the reception ..

Went for a grand reception last weekend – I was wearing a Cotton Chettinad saree, Big Red Bindi , Matching earrings – (well Anil would say Ear Hangings ! :)) Ezekiel on my hand and Esther next to me all the time … I didnt know many people there, except for the Bride and her family .. realized that in the reception it was close family members and family friends , so I kept a smile perpetually … after a while Bride’s Aunt came and asked me if I was a media person – I was little surprised (though this is not the first time someone asked me this) – I smiled and said I am not but Anil is .. She then said , well Groom's Uncle was asking if I worked in some channel or serials ! I almost laughed and politely said – No No I am not into media --



Wrong Identity … how many times people have mistaken me for what I am not . ..

1998 After 3 months training I am posted at Bomanhalli Office have to report in the afternoon … not sure of the bus route – plan to take an Auto – my first all alone Auto trip – route from BDA Complex koramangala to Bomanhalli – I have some idea of the fare but not much idea of the route .. still decide to go .. wearing Slwar kameez , my long hair tied up tightly –and for some reason I cover my head with dupatta … Get an auto – driver must be in his 30s – I ask him if he will take me to the office he says yes but asks for 25/- I say 20 /- (had not started fighting for meter reading :)) he agrees .. on the way some how conversation starts .. he asks my name – I take few seconds and say “mariam” my baptized name .. he says – “aapko dekh kar ache muslmann lagte ho” .,.. and I smile at him and tell I am Christian – he is surprised and tells me to think about Islam .. little surprised I don’t say much and let him talk ... reach my destination and thank him …

Few months later at office – I am wearing my mom’s Bengal cotton saree my hair tied tightly , wearing a bindi and many think I am Bengali .. .. and I correct them I am brought up in North East -- Later I shift to a Paying guest accommodation – Land Lady Sita Tamil Brahmin who is going to Nigeria – wants me to give company to her younger daughter who is doing engineering , her Elder sister (Periamma) in her late 60s comes before Sita aunty leaves – I am getting ready to go to office– wearing a Chettinad strip (red and orange)saree and a small Pottu – Periamma looks at me and comments – “you look like a typical Tamil Brahmin girl “ I smile and don’t say anything … Then a trip to Goa, meet my colleague’s family and friends - Ms Xavier you from Goa? Catholic ? I again smile – Mallu Catholic ….. Sometime back at office – I am wearing a Salwar Kameez – and Raj Malhotra comments – Simmi Kaur !! and I say may be it should be Simran Kaur !! and we laugh :D – my first 4 years in Jodhpur we were living in rented house with our our Land Lord -- our Land Lord Sikh (Sardar) family – I met them again in 1998 … At UK happened to make some Indian friends and happen to go with them in the evening to play badminton … one of them a Dr Hari plans to drop me back at my hotel .. on our way back he asks me – so which hospital do you work ? ! I smile at him and clarify –I am not a Nurse and I am an IT professional -- there for 6 months .. he is little embarrassed about his assumption but then we pick up good conversation on sports and places I should go around ….

Realized no matter what I am inside , the first judgment/assumption is made from the looks I wear …. And now I consciously play with my looks – I am proud of and comfortable with what I am and my roots , but I don’t mind being part of the crowd which ever that crowd be ...