Mariamma Ammachi ... will miss you

Dressing up with Ammachi in 2003

Mariamma Ammachi (Pennukunj) is no more …. Unlike many other deaths which have happened in last 10 years which didn’t make me think or write or bother much , Mariam Ammachi was somebody whom I didn’t know too well but I was comfortable with, somebody I could identify with … Ammachi died at the age of 84, Cardiac Arrest at night and death in the morning (on October 26) at hospital … I had met her just 3 days before her death , though she looked weak , but was doing her things on her own, spent around 1 hour with her talking, sitting next to her my arms around her shoulder and me gently massaging her shoulder and back … she asking me to take care of my health (my falling hair, and increasing weight ) and telling me that I should live to see my grand kids and laughed out loud saying – I don’t want to live that long …. And she said its not about your want , but you should …. I smiled at her , hugged her , kissed her and said take care till we meet next time … 

Ammachi , second of 4 siblings , her elder brother expired last year at the age of 85 , her younger siblings a brother around 76 yrs old and sister 66 yrs old (my mother in law). She was mother to 7 children , Kunjkutti Appachan whom Ammachi was married to, was employed in Kerala Police and was from Chengennur but when with 7 kids changing police quarters became an herculean task, Mariamma ammachi moved to a rented place near her brother's place in Venmony. During those days she managed the house and children all by herself often getting help from her younger sister for baby sitting … was wondering how did she manage with appachan’s salary .. today her 6 kids are in Middle East and one of the is in USA, she was living with her youngest Daughter In Law and two grand daughters in her same old house, where Kanji is still cooked on 'Addupa' 'Choolah – lakdi jala kar' where they still have couple of hens and a dog .. and where she used to keep all the “Verag, Olla, charata, chagri” (wood, dried coconut leaves,and parts of coconut) for drying in front of the house for the Addapu / Choola … 

When she came to see Esther in 2004

Ammachi was known to be very outspoken and pretty sharp in her words .. though I never got to see her fireworks , and I always found her very sensible and reasonable in her talks or comments .. .. Ours (more specific – Anil's side) is a very heterogeneous family, you will find Christians from all sects - Syrian Orthodox, Marthoma, CSI, other protestants and Catholics (like me), so it is but very natural that during family get-together cousins will end up taunting each other .. .. and Anil sometimes gets too critical. During one such family discussion, I asked Anil to reserve his comments, I said this in front of everybody .. well not many Bahus do that in public, by the time I realised that I had already spoken it out, after sometime Ammachi’s youngest daughter who must be at least 15-17 yrs elder to me , told me that I should not correct Anil in public, Ammachi was also around and she didn’t say anything – I sportingly said certain things should be said at the right time right place instantly then only the effect will last :) Ammachi laughed at this and with a wink, agreed, effect will last only when things are told right time right place … and since then my respect for her and my comfort level increased .. 

Ammachi a spirited Marthomite (her grandfather was one of the founder members of the Marthoma church) was married to Kunjukutti appachan who belonged to the Syrian Orthodox Sect , guess she was never too comfortable moving away from her church, so when she came back to her place with kids – she joined back Marthoma church and all her children thus became members of Marthoma church rather than Orthodox church which should have been the Parental church for them (actually the first three of them were baptised in Orthodox Church), and Appachan never interfered in such things as long as Ammachi was managing household without his assistance .. this is one thing for which I admire ammachi, she was able to do what she wanted, without revolting or fighting… :) I think Appachan was not there for most of his children’s wedding (he passed away in 1987)… she managed, most of the family obligations on her own … I wonder how much can today’s women with all education and facilities available can manage a family of eight without support of spouse … .. So for me Mariam Ammachi was one person I adored, adored for her guts .. .. Will miss her presence whenever I go again … may her soul rest in peace...