Your values become your destiny ...

Happened to read this  ‘What Not to Say When Negotiating Salary’ and just could not stop thinking about the different interviews and negotiations I have gone through in last 15 years.

I started working in the year 1998 when I was not even 20 and in last 15 years I have changed  4-5 companies and have given interviews in many companies, got offers from quite a few companies. Looking back I could have written interesting book on my experiences attending interviews :) And if you are wondering why would anybody want to go through so many interviews, well took my first break from work when I decided to start my family life which was 10 years back and after 1 year break in 2004 when I started looking for job, i found that many companies did not take candidate seriously who have taken break , – or they felt that candidates who has taken break from work  is not good enough or focused especially Women  (You know women with kids and break )!

So discouraged after few weeks of attending interviews in Bangalore , I took up job in Hyderabad, my salary was same as my last drawn salary from my first company, did I have option to negotiate then ? I don’t know, but to be frank I had not done the market research and also being a Woman who was coming back after break I just did not have the option of Negotiating salary. Once I joined it did not take me much time to realise that how poor my salary was for the experience, qualification and communication skills I had. But still i thought I was paid fair! Anyway I had to leave Hyderabad within 5-6 months and when I tried for jobs again in Bangalore, I had become a wee bit smarter and started practicing negotiating skills by trying out as many jobs as possible till I got something which was near to my expectation :)

Few things I observed during the whole exercise was I was foolish to think and expect that companies will evaluate and compensate a resource as per the skills, qualification and prior experience and that they have a solid norms or well defined salary slabs for Roles and Designations. It was hard to accept that one has to be smart when it comes to money matter and always assume that the HR of the companies will always take you for ride and make you feel as if you don’t deserve what you expect. I learnt my lesson hard way, but thanks to my husband Anil who pushed me harder and made me realise that there is nothing wrong in telling your expectation and trying to negotiate. And my argument used to be ‘Why one should negotiate/bargain/beg for something one deserves?‘ And his reply used to be ‘Companies are not here for social service, they have to be smart when it comes to $s’.. I also felt that being woman I got lesser offer than what a male candidate would have got and that made me more firm in asking what I thought I should get.

And if you are thinking that I am became greedy like most of the highly ambitious IT people around,

then I would  say No, I never asked for unreasonable hikes, there were times when HR asked why I felt that I could ask for hikes I always had my logical answer for which most of them were ready to negotiate. Then after spending 8 years in Bangalore and 6 months in Hyderabad, we (Anil and me) decided to move down to Trivandrum, and again I had to go through Interview sessions, before shifting we went around different companies in Technopark, I attended Walk Ins in Bangalore for companies in Kochi and Trivandrum. From small to Top 2-3 companies in Technopark, I could reach till the Negotiation round, the experience was … not so great, in 1 company I was offered lesser than what I was getting, in yet another it was hardly matched to what I was getting , another one MNC gave me 7% hike after 6 rounds of interview including final round with the client, and in yet another (one of the top 5 companies in Techpark) I was given around 15-20% hike. The HR approach in Trivandrum was

• Since I was planning to come down to Trivandrum, it was my need and I would/should take up any offer they make.
• In Trivandrum salaries are not as high as Bangalore.
• Not many women from Kerala would ask for better compensation in Trivandrum, since they will be with or near their family.
• You are being paid the highest in your Band – Believe it and take it !

No I did not take the 15-20% hike offer, because I had fair idea of how much the company gives to ‘Guys’ with lesser experience than mine and I took up offer in a smaller company which matched my then current salary. I know I sound like a Fool, but there are certain things which I cannot accept , and I have my own views about it – something like ‘Sir cutta saktey hai lekin sir jhuka saktey nahi’ …

I took my second break from regular employment this year and this time the reason was I wanted to take break from the 5 am to 11 pm non stop work schedule (which includes both official and personal chores). I also wanted to take time to stop and think what do I want from life in coming years. I also wanted to do spend time doing silly not so important things like baking, grilling, stitching, making rug, and more relevant things like taking care of my little ones, and professionally working on and checking out options which I was not able to do in a regular fulltime job. 

And then I got call from one of the companies I had previously worked for, though I had not made up my mind whether to get back to regular work but when the call came I thought let me not say ‘No’ and check out the opportunity. The initial few rounds of talk went well and then came the Compensation part. I was surprised to see the offer which was absolute disappointment – forget hike (there was none)it was an insult to any Ex employee, and the best was yet to come , when I tried negotiating, the concerned HR person got offended and commented that they don’t negotiate/bargain on offers made! I just reminded that I was an Ex employee and had fair information on the compensation and policies …  and decided to go with my policy of not accepting something which is not worth putting your effort on :) So much so far for negotiating, and then I started doubting my policy, its then Anil assured me that nothing is wrong in my policy and asked me to read the article ‘What not to say when negotiating your salary’  :)

I also have one more policy in life – ‘Once you decide to say goodbye to people/company for whatever reason and you decide to move on , then you should move on and not  hang on to the shadows of people/company – Once in while Hi Bis are fine, but trying to get back to old relationship is most of the time disastrous ’  :) Though I was upset about the offer I got , I also realise there are many people who would accept and compromise on salary as there are not too many opportunities … , .. but somehow I felt this time No more compromise … I am sure there are better things worth waiting for …. And am sure there are many who would have gone through similar experiences …. I am just pouring out mine here … Also I need to believe in my values and have to stand by that … 

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, 

Your thoughts become your words, 

Your words become your actions, 

Your actions become your habits, 

Your habits become your values, 

Your values become your destiny.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi