Perceptions

Perception - View / Opinion/ assessment/experience ! My perceptions are different from yours because of my experience are different from yours .So is it wrong to have perceptions ? I think we mature when we change our perceptions with our ongoing experiences and with the experiences of people we know …

There was this post in one of the social media which is accessible in office – frankly I was so disappointed to see the post that I decided to ignore it there – but actually could not … The topic of the post was how life can be made better for women (No I am no Feminist, I am fine the way I am :) ) -- and gradually because of one Guys post - the post’s focus shifted to how Women are themselves responsible for All the atrocities happening against them . Some of the reasons gentleman listed –

 i) selling themselves to prostitution or stop working as sex workers?

ii) selling themselves and posing for advertisements and calendar

iii) treating themselves as objects of vulgarity? i dont knw if women ever watch porn, but hardly a porn movie is made with out a lady/girl and even if it does, that doesn't get that much publicity as the former.

iv) stop exposing parts and call this freedom to live the way they want... >>>

Was so disgusted to see the post that wanted to ask this gentle has he ever checked with his sister (own or cousin) or mother how many times they have had bad experience because of the dress they wore …I have never felt any lesser than boy – maybe I was always tomboyish , but there were times when I did feel the disadvantage of being a girl or woman --

In my Teens - I started living life of civilian (out of army campus) from 1991 in kerala – and it was quite a change – had to take local buses from Irinjalakuda to Trichur daily, to go to school – I didn’t know Malayalam – And I didn’t know what girls have to go through – in bus peak time – crowded – students concession – so you are treated like an unwanted – have to stand – and you are pushed back because anyway IJK to TRC 23 kms atleast 40 mins bus ride one way -- and behind, you have guys trying to touch all over you – breathing on your neck – btw our uniform Salwar Kameez completely covered – somebody runs his hand over yours while you are holding on to the bar above not to fall – (if you know how the local buses in North Kerala are ) If you are sitting then somebody tries to pinch your butt from the small gap between the backrest and seat … again you are in school uniform completely covered .. you look back and give the “ look “ … In train you travel in ladies compartment and you will still find guys occupying the seats –

In my 20’s - On bus from Bangalore to Kerala for all your luck you will have a guy next to you who will keep falling on you in his sleep , when you change seat , he will have his hands coming from behind trying to touch you … and next time you carry Chili powder and safety pins with you … While coming out of church(St.Patrick’s Blore, very decently dressed) somebody from the opposite direction brushes his hands and grabs me and walks off -- I get furious go behind the person – tap on his shoulder from behind when he turns give a tight slap – telling “Don’t repeat this again “ – he asking what did I do !? On infantry road blore around 4:00 Pm I am wearing Jeans, T Shirt, Sport shoe – can feel somebody is behind me kind of following me , I am alert ,he comes closer to grab my hand I punch him not sure where did I hit him – he is taken aback and starts running I chase him I know there is a traffic police some where near by – but he knows the by lanes pretty well … escapes .. don’t think I was indecently dressed to provoke anybody …

In my 30’s In front of Medical College TVM while waiting for bus to come to office some drunkard gets down and tries to come close to me – all others behave like a onlookers enjoying the show – end of the show I end up thrashing the guy the who falls unconscious (because of his Nasha ) I call the police , -- and then onlookers ask “personal problema aa “?Till that time I play a brave face … and then I just break down – not because of the drunkard – but because of the audience who anyway didn’t help me when I needed and instead wanted to know what the guy had to do with me …. What am I wearing ?cotton saree – yes what ever women wears provokes men --- So why not wear what you want to wear –

Now I tell my daughter (and friends who face this problem) – somebody messes up with you – don’t keep quiet ,fight back whatever way you see possible – you are not weak , but some people become weak when you are around ….