Children

Esther with her cousins :)

There are times when looking at Esther I realize , soon she will be on her own --- she does her homework herself -- only when she gets stuck somewhere she asks me -- she is already capable of taking care of small needs of Ezekiel , ... and without her little help in kitchen and in general home, i will be doing quite a lot of running around looking for things .. Just this weekend she asked me if she can take her scooter on road in front of our house - and i said yes go ahead .. she asked me to be there at the gate , i agreed but actuually didnt stand , she came back immediately and asked me again to stand and see .. i went this time .. and saw her disappearing .... after few mins when i didnt see her coming back , thought of checking out ... i walked a little and saw her coming back panting .. she was excited and was telling me how far she went ... i asked her to continue ... in between my neighbour Sajina came out and took Ezekiel from my hand .. candidly she said that Ezekiel looks thinner after our vacation to bangalore and asked if i wanted more kids --- I laughed and jokingly said yes - maybe total 5 kids (basket ball team :)) .. she was surprised and laughed with me ..

And i thought my Dad they are 7 siblings - Dad is 6th , my mother 11 siblings and she is 11th! --Imagine the fights the fun and struggle they all have had gone through as children :) .... I have 1 big bro , and Anil - he is the only son ... we always wanted atleast 3 kids .. ...Always wondered how my Grand parents from both sides managed their kids ... i think they allowed their kids to grow on their own -- without spoon feeding much .. i am sure they didnot have the time to pamper their kids and all of them did well in their lives ..(and here we are struggling with 1-2 ) ... wonder if our parents (from big families) and not living with their parents were told as adults whom to talk,whom to meet or not to meet , what to say , what to do ...... and i guess my parent's generation might have felt neglected , and thats why they are so protective about their children -- yea yea i agree every parent irrespective of any generation is protective about their children , but kuch alag baat hoti hai har ek generation ki ... . not sure if I am making sense here ...

As a mother i have realised I am just an instrument .. - when people congratulate (new) parents "Proud Parents" I wonder why "Proud" .. we are just instruments, instruments of Life -- and i have to let the other life (children ) live and grow ... not so easy job when you yourself are learning games of life ... it would not have been easy for my parents to let me go ... it wont be easy for me also ... Came upon Khalil Gibran's thought on children -- so true - if i could accept this truth ...

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.