Teen Deviyan ....

Happen to read a forward written by Chetan Bhagat on Working Women. I instantly clicked the ‘Like’ button for I found it very relevant in my life. Basically he had mentioned that his Mother worked for 40 yrs, his wife is COO of some bank, and he does not expect her to do cooking cleaning at home as they have outsourced those work. I could relate to everything he had mentioned and liked the facts given on how working women are exposed to better things in life and should not be wasting their energy in the daily struggles of managing things at home ….. It was only after sometime of thinking over it that I realised that I am no COO and nor is my husband a celebrity writer … So are millions of working Women/Couple ….. My this post is about 3 very ordinary women , 3 Vineetha’s I know , yes coincidentally all 3 of them have same name !

Vineetha Aunty in her 50s a civilian, works at Indian Airforce for the past 17 years. She has got 2 daughters both married and living at distant places. Since the younger one got married recently its only now that Vineetha aunty feels relieved of doing her parental duty of doing ‘Kanyadaan’. She was suppose to take some time for relaxing and catching up with her breath , but she has to go to take care of elder daughter who is expecting and due in coming weeks … So Vineetha aunty opts for transfer near to her elder daughters place, she looses her promotion because of this request for transfer … Are you thinking what is her husband doing ? Well she lost her husband 15 years back .. he was bed ridden for almost 3 years where aunty managed everything at home, hospital and took up his job in airforce so that she could take care of needs at home …. She has managed everything on her own – she lives in a simple small flat near our place which she bought 6-7 years back. Being her neighbour and from same place in Chenganoor we also happen to be her youngest and nearest family friends she talks to us whenever she feels like sharing or speaking her mind … and this week she showed her general medical report , which indicates she has to take care of her Spine as she has 2-3 spinal disc bulges ….. but she also has to go to take care of her Elder daughter ….

Vineetha K , my client manager in US is young energetic, dynamic maybe in her late 30s, though I have never asked about her family in detail , but understand that she has 1or 2 children, and is from Hyderabad. Came to know that she will be visiting India , initially I thought it was an official trip but later understood that she is on a personal visit and will try to visit the team if possible… After a week of her arrival in India , she cancels her plans to visit the team in Trivandrum, as her Dad is not keeping well and might need hospitalization. She reaches back US and catches up with the hectic schedule of work, she has the flexibility to work from home, and evening when I call her (which is her early morning) i could hear background sound of her child, she then asks me to hold on and tells her child to close the door …. And then we have 1-1 ladies talk of how difficult it is to manage home and work … After a month or so I move out of the team, She calls me and assures that she would help/recommend me if I need her referral, I thank her and move on … and later get to know Vineetha K also resigned to take care of her Dad and family … there might be other reasons, but this is what I came to know …

Vineetha Chechi, in her late 50s comes alternate days early in the morning with her basket of Fish. She is the ‘Meen’ Aunty for my kids and every other day they come running to see her and her fishes .. … We unlock our gate when she knocks our gate shouting ‘Inn Meen Unnum vendey’ (Don’t you want any fish today ?) and I sheepishly ask ‘Enth Meen unndd inn’ (Which fish today) … I have known Vineetha chechi only for 6-8 months but seems like I know her for much longer. Vineetha Chechi has got a small vegetable shop close to our house, she tells me that she has a daughter who has 2-3 children and that One of Chechi’s grand daughter is married ! I am surprised and comment you look so young , and your grand daughter is married !! Then she tells me that she wont come the next day as she has to go to vegetable market to buy stuff, and the day after that it’s her husband’s first death anniversary …. She asks me to keep my old sarees for her , I see her coming almost every alternate day , no matter how much it rains, she comes on Hartal day also ……

I have been working on and off since 1998, have compromised on many things taking into consideration what will be better for Us as a family, Till Ezekiel’s nanny came for help 2 years back , we were managing all our household tasks, and we still manage most of it I wish could outsource few more of the house hold work but while considering value for money, budget, support system and resources available we have our own constraints and I guess so is with many other working couples … .. Recently my neighbour from humble background a home maker who got married very young and could not complete her studies and always appreciated and loved seeing me going to office commented in Malayalam which translates to ‘Make hay while the sun shine’ and I smiled at her and said ‘What is the use if you get Sun burn while making hay all the time’ ….. Some people are born lucky for others there is lot of struggle in life and outsourcing struggle is not an option  for them ….. :)

Story of most working women :)